Listen up, lifters.
It’s Tough Tuesday, and you know what that means — time to crush excuses, rewrite history, and get fired up for gains. And today, we’re changing it up and having some fun diving deep into the fictional, iron-pumped legend you thought you knew: General George “Stone-Swole” Washington — the first American Meathead.
You read that right.
History books will tell you George Washington crossed the Delaware River to launch a surprise attack on the British in 1776. But what they don’t tell you… is that he didn’t need cannons. He didn’t need stealth. He didn’t need backup. He just needed 20 inch biceps and traps like mountains.
The True Story They Don’t Teach in Schools
It was cold. Morale was low. The redcoats were laughing, sipping tea, wearing wigs, and flexing zero muscle fibers. Meanwhile, George was deadlifting frozen cannonballs in the snow shirtless, veins popping like musket fire.
He didn’t ride into battle on a horse — the horse rode him. And when they reached the enemy camp, George stood tall on the riverbank, looked across at the British forces, and said one thing:
“These gains don’t kneel to kings.”
Then he flexed. HARD.
The shockwave from his lat spread knocked out three British generals. One guy just dropped his sword and started doing push-ups out of sheer respect. Another redcoat tried to load his musket, but his arms went limp from witnessing George’s vascularity. He saw Washington’s triceps and whispered, “God save the king,” right before passing out from astonishment.
His Training Split? Revolutionary.
George hit:
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Chest & Honor on Mondays
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Back & Independence on Tuesdays
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Legs & Liberty on Wednesdays (yes, he squatted)
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Arms & Assaults on Tyranny Thursdays
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Core & Core Values Fridays
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Saturdays? Log carries and battle rope drills with trees he ripped out himself.
He dry-scooped pre-workout made from powdered tea and gunpowder. .
Final Flex
This Tough Tuesday, remember who made your freedom to lift possible. George Washington didn’t just win independence — he bench-pressed it into existence. So next time you’re tempted to skip the gym or cut a set short, ask yourself:
“What would Meathead Stone-Swole George do?”
(Answer: Front squat a redcoat and declare a PR for the nation.)
Stay swole. Stay free.
– Team Meathead
